Limbo Friday, May 23 2008 

Here’s what I have finished in the past week:

Ignorance by: Milan Kundera.

Werewolves in their Youth by: Michael Chabon.

Here is New York by: E.B. White.

Slowness by: Milan Kundera.

No One Belongs Here More Than You by: Miranda July.

The Last Window-Giraffe by: Peter Zilahy.

Today I am starting:

Riding Toward Everywhere by: William T. Vollmann.

The Invention of Everything Else by: Samantha Hunt.

Notes from Underground by: Fyodor Dostoevsky.

I have to say that I hope Libraries in New York are different. I’m trying to chalk all this up as a life lesson in how to deal with extremely difficult and unpleasant people… because that’s something that one cannot escape in life. Only 30 more days of this. That moment that we leave the Athens county line in that U-Haul will be one of the most best and exciting moments of all time. Can you imagine me staying in this library in this town? I might as well go outside, dig a hole, and sit down in it. That would be the equivalent to what I’m doing right now all day every day. Repeat after me: Learning experience, learning experience, learning experience, learning experience… one more month, one more month, one more month. I’m going to try not to deconstruct. I’m going here… to my happy place.

Now on to the actual bookiness of this blog. The Last-Window Giraffe has me now obsessed with Belgrade…pictured above. Eastern European…and pretty, no?

Anyway, Here is a passage! from this a-z picture book…

“In the beginning was chaos, but we decoded it and understood everything, because we could read between the lines. Now we have to decode what we meant by ‘everything’ that not so long ago seemed so clear-cut. In the Sixties Kadar emerged from the quelled revolutionary bubbling, and in the early Seventies our parents began to breed at an unprecedented rate. How can I explain to a teenager now that the better future we once sang about is here today, because the better future always comes. How can I explain that he will never understand? It’s as though I were looking at my own parents, who believed that it would last for ever. Dear Mum and Dad, this is the country you wanted to emigrate to! You don’t even need to learn another language! How can I explain that the change of regime in 1989-90 was the school-leaving exam, and that the old order passed away at the party afterwards. Our teenage rebellion swept Communism away, the new soft democracy crowded out the old soft dictatorship. The era that had treated us like children and held us back from growing up suddenly collapsed and vanished into thin air. And I stopped growing. My generation had supposed things would carry on as before, which they didn’t, but we carried on pretending to be the way they had always wanted us to be. A conspiratorial consensus of our parents over our heads, a mute orgasm with revolutionary momentum. Because of what happened in ‘56, Hungary didn’t have a ‘56 in ‘89. Our parents had children instead, and brought them up to stay alive. And now we are going to live.”

I also love this really long thing about freedom:

“Freedom is everyone’s concern. It is not an empty word. It comes and goes freely, is free as a bird, its head reels from the taste of freedom. Freedom is a state of being. Freedom is a feeling, a greeting, a hill in Buda, a newspaper. Freedom is freedom of thought, universal freedom, freedom of the press, freedom of the seas, a car -oh no, sorry. Pobeda’s a victory. Freedom is a radio station. Free days, running free in the open air, let you thoughts run free! Free association, free thinking, free verse, free-living, freewheeling, freeloading, free entry. Freedom in Russian, freedom in sign language, physical freedom, freelancing, freestyle wrestling of swimming. Freedom is a free kick, a free ticket, a free transfer, free love, kisses are free. Freedom is a free lunch, free time, a free house, let’s go to Freeport. Freedom is a free phone, free spaces, free fall. The harbinger of freedom, the taste of freedom, the sweet bird of freedom. Freedom becomes her, his freedom is cramped, the limits of freedom, he hasn’t got a free moment. Is this table free? Is this Freedom Square yet? One can be given a free hand, savour a whiff of freedom, not know what to do with one’s freedom, devote one’s free time to something, want to be free of someone. Freedom can be discarded, sold, exchanged, devolved, violated, curtailed, blighted, trampled underfoot, and a little bit of freedom wouldn’t hurt. Freedom is the Freedom Stature on Budapest’s Gellert Hill, the land of the free, loss of freedom. Freedom is inalienable and belongs to us all, one freedom, two freedoms, people’s freedoms. It is free agents, free trade, free enterprise, breaking free, feeling free, being free to roam. Freedom is freeing a city, freeing one’s slaves, freeing oneself of one’s calories. How free is freedom? Are we free to touch it? To smother it? To stroke it? To eat it? To have a small glassful? Freedom is there on the label: tax-free, fat-free, duty-free, sugar-free, alcohol-free, carefree. Free your mind! Freedom is a freebie for short, when the road is free and you’re free to do it, time for a free-for-all, leave your body free, defend yourself freely, free yourself of your clothes, of your emotions, give them free rein, my soul soars free of its prison walls, come, freedom, bear me away on your wings! Freedom is a free bed, a free university, freemasonry. The bloody banners of freedom. Hang free, grow freely, be freestanding, have a free choice, feel free to walk around. What is freedom? Am I free to ask? Free sex, free range, thrust freedom upon or deny it someone, free oneself from an embrace, be freed of a sweet burden, be free to decide. Are you free for a dance, for a moment, for a bit of free enterprise? Personal freedom, free will. Freedom is freebooting, freedom fights. One can make free, be freespoken, lose one’s freedom. Give me liberty, and deliver me from the devil…”

So there it is, I love the freedom statue on Gellert Hill.

Enough for today. More on another day. Much love.

Maps and Legends Tuesday, May 20 2008 

This is a painting by Piet Mondrian. I am trying to learn more about art and what I like and dislike. This, I like. I don’t really have a reason for what I like, it is more of a visceral reaction to what I see. It’s like with literature… I don’t really need to know the historical details, the biographical details…but it makes it more interesting. Right now it is just difficult to put names to images and to keep straight time periods and things that came out of different time periods. Mondrian is Dutch. Which is good because the only other Dutch artist I know about it Durer… and Durer is kind of boring (in a really fantastic, important kind of way mind you). Mondrain developed into the art category called Neo-Plasticism. This is like lines and grids and primary colors. The kind of art where a normal person would ask why it is considered art. I respond positively to lines, grids and simplicity in art. I don’t really want to see depictions of suffering, realism, religious icons. For instance, in the Museum of Fine Arts in Budapest there was a painting of a saint post-flaying. Anyway, I will one day have a better understanding of why I like what I like… and I’ll include Mondrian as an example of this…

Cool.

On the book front: it’s still slow going. I’m reading Miranda July, and loving it of course. I have started Slowness by Milan Kundera. And a really cool book with pictures called The Last Window-Giraffe by: Peter Zilahy. It’s one from that list of narratives that work like encyclopedias. I brought Michael Chabon’s Maps and Legends with me to work wrapped up in a plastic bag. Otherwise, I just want something I can share on this blog. Something that begs to be shared. Nothing yet…

If this doesn’t make you happy, nothing will.

Love, Jessica

drowning in bookish waters Friday, May 16 2008 

This picture is taken from a website of an artist that does a book sorting art project that is very cool. www.ninakatchadourian.com

is the link. Since my last posting I have finished Oh Pure and Radiant Heart. I can’t understand why the book exasperated me so much. Part of it was the presence of so many typographical errors, you’d think that the editor felt the same way as me and couldn’t even be bothered to fix what was wrong, much less cut it down. I think it would have worked great as a standard 230 page novel. The stuff about the rapture and the following of the scientists turned me off, the whole thing was absurd and just exasperating. That being said, I am recommending to myself to read the rest of what Lydia Millet wrote… I don’t know why. I really enjoyed How the Dead Dream, so I’ll keep going and give her another chance. I have also given up for the moment on Cynthia Ozick’s Art and Ardor. It is very difficult and about a lot of subjects that I can’t really relate to. Her other book was more mainstream and more enjoyable. I rarely give up in mid book…but I think in this situation it is the best idea.

I’m reading Werewolves in their Youth and the Miranda July. And re-reading Ignorance by Milan Kundera. I just feel like I’m not doing reading justice right now. I don’t know what could pick me up out of this slump. I’m enjoying what I am reading, but I’m not ultra inspired at the moment.

I think I’m going to go out on a limb and read Hunter S. Thompson or Ursula le Guin. Something radically different. I’m giving every book  I read a rating in my book journal. Lydia Millet got 2 and a half stars (yes, Star Search helped me come up with these qualifications) and Model World got 3 and a half stars.

I’ll keep you updated.

marginalia Wednesday, May 14 2008 

This is the author Milan Kundera, whom I love. I’m thinking about doing a Author Spotlight on him, but first I have to read everything… This would prove easier if I could remember what I have read of his oeuvre. (Fancy word alert!). I got a stack from the library yesterday… looked at it, flipped through it, and couldn’t remember if I had read Identity or Ignorance. I knew that I had read one or the other of them. Well, I decided to take home Ignorance… and it turns out that I had read Ignorance. Started it again. Decided to read it again because it is Fabulous.

Along with this, I have also started Werewolves in Their Youth by Michael Chabon, which Becky assures me is Not funny. I am still working on Oh Pure and Radiant Heart, which I’m sorry…will NOT end. Where in the heck was the editor of this book? 500 pages of absurdity and little development…half of this book needed to be on the chopping room floor. I’m trying to like it, I really am… and I’m going to finish it because I have already made the damn commitment, but sheesh.

I like the word marginalia.

I also started my graduation present from Becky…Miranda July’s No One Belongs Here More Than You…which so far is wonderful. Thank you Becky!!

All for now, more reading to come…———Your Friend——–Jessica.

A Book Finishing Marathon Friday, May 9 2008 

I am happy to report that I finished two books yesterday in a fury of uninterrupted reading. One was Michael Chabon’s Wonder Boys. I, of course, am a die hard fan of one Michael Chabon. I think that he has Dave Egger’s wit without Dave Egger’s brutal pessimism. I think he creates characters that are real, that you can see, that you feel you know and sometimes I think that as a reader you can forget how important that is. Chabon creates worlds where people are forgiven and most importantly–you can tell he writes for the joy of the reader and not for the critics, the intellectuals, or even for his own characters. I remember loving the idea that one can be someone’s perfect reader. I think that I, along with thousands of others most definitely, have found myself being Chabon’s perfect reader. It helps that he is contemporary and alive (I love writers that are alive!!) and current and that they make movies out of his books (look for another one soon, I forget which) and it helps that there are things that are left to read. I think that my Murakami obsession wanes a lot when there is nothing left to read… Anyway, I really loved this book simply because it was so honest. I also love this shot from The Simpsons, and if you’ve read Wonder Boys and know about the Wordfest and the debacle surrounding the gathering of academians, this episode of The Simpsons would be something to watch and enjoy.

I read the greatest short story in The New Yorker yesterday.  It was called ‘Them Old Cowboy Songs’ and was by Annie Proulx. I normally don’t go for the Cowboy on the range tumbleweeds kind of story but I was captured right away with this. The main characters are a couple who have started up a homestead and are in love. The man needs to work and make money and so he rides off into the sunset, leaving the woman alone throughout the summer. It’s a really powerful story and now I am interested in picking up something else by this Annie Proulx, who I have heard about but not read.

I also finished Buglakov’s Master and Margarita, finally! Synopsis: Say What?! I’d love to read it again and I think it is a best kept secret but I will admit fully that I have no idea what just happened. I would love to have had a class where we could have discussed this book. I appreciate Russian satanism as much as the next person. Really, you have to just read it to understand my perplexity. However, I have come across some really great stuff… Russia has done a TV series based on the novel a few years ago, I have no idea how this would work out… Do you think there should be a movie version? I think it would work well in animation.

I guess that part of my perplexity lies in the fact that I felt a kind of illicit siding with Woland and the gang and less so with Yeshua, Judas, Levi. It would seem to me that Woland is the protagonist, albeit one that causes mahem, murder, etc. He does it with more of a joy, in contrast with Yeshua who accepts his fate without a fight. Ivan the Homeless as well, accepting that nothing more can be done. Woland makes it all happen. Good versus evil seems to be reversed in this argument.  There is a contrary understanding of the usual portrayal of the Devil. Margarita for the most part is compassionate. Of course, the devil has power. He has the power of strength and the power of knowledge and becomes more and more powerful the more people he dupes in the novel. Throw Pontius Pilate into the mix, one of the most damned men in history (perhaps even more so than Judas) and you have the same feeling that I’ve been describing. Of course the man is powerful and it is turned around in this novel to make him pitiable as well. You could argue that that cat is just plain evil… and I would agree, but remember when they are flying off to Satan’s themepark at the end of the novel and they are all morphing into their true forms. The cat turns out to be a professional and talented jester. So, the clown was trapped in the form of a cat. A black cat. It’s justified that he caused the most problems throughout the novel.

Just look at this: The author, Ladies and Gentleman… The tone of the novel somehow makes sense now right. He’s so… Russian… sigh.

Off to read more… Oh Wait! I want to quote something from Lydia Millets, Oh Pure and Radiant Heart… which I am devoted all my attention to and loving at the moment…

“Beyond aspects of pain that are physical, thought Oppenheimer, sickness or injury or privation, beyond the so-called obvious, suffering can be a work of art. It can be made of buried and rising things, helpless and undiscovered, song of frustrated want, silence after desire. It can be the test of the self falling short, constrained, distorted, disturbed or rebuffed, the vacuum left by longing, call without an answer.

“In a face-off with happiness suffering often wins, he reflected, not by being necessary hardship but by being chosen. Suffering is chosen over happiness by almost everyone. It is designed, coddled, caressed and persuaded; it is worked over by the brain so that it informs the limits of our freedoms and the shape of our fulfillment. It ties us to other people where happiness does not. Suffering is embraced.”

The most fascinating aspect of this book is not that the men involved in the Manhattan project have suddenly appeared in the 21st century, it is the study of their behavior as men and their inner thoughts about how they were involved ethically and mentally. The other characters get in the way of this some of the time, but I’m ready to forgive this for the sake of the advancing narrative. Ok, finally off to read. Toodles.

The Forest for the Trees Friday, Apr 18 2008 

I haven’t updated in a while because of various things going on and the lack of reading (however, some would say that there hasn’t been a lack of reading). If I’m not reading 8 books at one time, I consider that a lack of reading. However, I am reading Master and Margarita….which is pretty funny and very Russian (thanks: Becky!) I am reading The Captive and the Fugitive… the fifth in the Proust series In Search of Lost Time. I love it very much and don’t know what I’m going to do when I’m done with Proust besides pick up back at number 1 and read it over again. I am also still reading Auto da Fe, but promise to finish it soon.

I am thinking about picking up another Chabon, because I am anxious to read Maps and Legends, but want to finish everything else he has written first, as Maps and Legends is an autobiography I think. I am anxious also to read tons of other things once I am done with school and can manage more. One of these is Min Jin Lee’s Free Food for Millionaires and some books by Ryszard Kapucinski. I have created a LibraryThing page devoted to books I want to read someday… the covers look all pretty.

I am off to find more pretty book sites to read.